i don’t know. i just don’t know. i’ve been feeling restless lately. i went to california for a week, but that didn’t scratch it. i cut my hair, but i still feel charged. like i should start running and see where i end up. this is a bad plan while living in the city, because the problem is, i don’t know where i would end up. baltimore is filled with places that you really don’t want to end up.
but i feel like i’ve got to do something. i’ve got lots of ideas swimming around in my head. ideas for stories and maybe screenplays. i can’t get any of them out, though. i’ll get a few lines, or even paragraphs, and then all i can do is just imagine where it will go, but the words won’t work. i think best when i can talk things out, but i hate to just chatter at people.
isn’t the adderoll supposed to be helping this? i know why it isn’t. i take it at work, and then i can’t write because i’m meant to be working. i don’t want to take it on the weekends, i don’t want to be dependent.
i don’t know. i just don’t know.